Yes! Little Thinkers Can Handle Big Questions.

We live in strange times, no doubt, and all the strangeness gets broadcast pretty widely. Take your pick of anything that’s happened in the past two years, at home or around the world. There are quite a few posts and articles that advise “How to Talk To Your Kid About…”, and rightfully so. We want to raise a generation of thinkers who are not only aware of the world around them, but who also have the vocabulary and thinking skills to talk about it with sensitivity and insight.

Still, it’s natural to wonder if there are questions and issues that are just too much for someone who is relatively new to the planet, and parents should be concerned with presenting them at the right time and place, in a way that’s age-appropriate.

Here’s some good news, amidst a sea of not-so-good news: you can talk to your kids about difficult, uncomfortable things without having them come across as quite so difficult or uncomfortable.

Here’s how:

Start early.

Don’t wait for something shocking to pop up in a news feed to start a discussion about something important. Even wee little thinkers have thoughts on big issues, and if your conversations are short and casual, that’s fine.

Be brave.

Never shy away from a question a child asks, even if it is difficult and doesn’t have one clear answer. Whether they’re curious about world events, or just an abstract idea, they need to feel that they’re free to ask, and that their point of view is important. It’s truly surprising how even very young children are unafraid to tackle something difficult.

Make it general.

Focus on big, hypothetical questions, instead of on particular current events or stories in the media. You’ll probably find that your child is eager to chat about what makes someone powerful, what it means to be fair, or why they should respect others. Let abstract concepts drive the conversation, and if it drifts into specific events later on, so be it. You can then remind them of the discussion you had before, and see how their previous questions apply.

Admit you haven’t got it all figured out.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know the answer. Whether you’re discussing philosophical questions on a “what if” basis, or you’re tackling an actual, real-world issue with your child, not having a clear answer isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a pretty useful starting point for a discussion. Tell your child that people have been asking this sort of question for thousands of years, and that they’re now continuing an important human practice.

Focus on the journey.

Recognize that it isn’t exposure to difficult questions that will build your child’s thinking skills, but the process by which you navigate through them. A child who is curious about war, poverty, or other difficult issues isn’t going to bring them up just once. They’ll continue to mull them over for years, and will build on previous discussions. Teach them to reason well, and leave the door open.

Keep it real.

If something feels just too big to discuss with your child, find an age-appropriate example of it from their daily lives. Perhaps a national election is beyond the scope of their understanding, but they’ll get what it feels like to choose a team leader in gym class, or to be entrusted with a solo in choir. In many ways, what we encounter in childhood is a microcosm of our lives as adults.

Cheer them on!

Praise your child for being a big thinker, and congratulate yourself for creating an environment that welcomes discussion. This is a big deal, and you should both be proud of yourselves.

Brace yourself. It’s going to happen sooner or later, especially with all that’s going on in around us right now. Even the most idyllic childhood isn’t all unicorns and chocolate chip cookies. However, with the right approach, difficult questions can serve as important learning opportunities, not to mention a chance to bond with your child. In an era like ours, thinking skills are invaluable. To quote a Malay proverb “A tree with strong roots laughs at storms.”

If you need help establishing these roots, well, that’s what we’re here for. Have a look around our site, join us on social media, and we’ll keep making stuff to help.

You got this. So does your little thinker.