Is The World Too Much For A Little Thinker?

In strange times like these, we tend to see a lot of content out there with titles like “How to talk to your kid about…”, and for good reason. There’s a tug of war that happens for parents, between wanting our kids to be their silly, kid-like selves for as long as possible, and wanting them to informed citizens of the world they live in. It’s a difficult line to walk, and it isn’t made easier when terrible things happen.

But what if we didn’t have to make this choice? What if our kid could learn a thing or two about what’s going on, and be given space to think and discuss even challenging ideas, and still be a kid?

You and your curious kiddos can have both. You can teach them that there are very big questions that are going to pop up, some of them more challenging than others. That’s just what being a part of the world is like. At the same time, there are ways to equip them to recognize, formulate and think through these big, challenging questions that feel pretty natural and even empowering to a kid. It is absolutely possible to meet them where they are as a child, while helping them to see what else is out there. You can make it so that on those occasions when the world creeps in, and things seem overwhelming, they’ll be able to say “Ah, I’ve thought about that and talked about that before.”

Here are some tips for finding that balance:

·      Don’t shut down any of their questions. If they’re asking these things, they’re thinking about them. They probably have been for a while. Put some time aside to look at them together.

·      Don’t assume that as a child, there are topics they haven’t thought about, even difficult ones. Little thinkers do frame things differently than adults do, but in their minds, nothing is off limits.

·      Don’t dive right into current events. Start with general concepts like fairness, equality, truth, and love. Trust that your child will recognize these concepts when they encounter specific examples.

·      Teach your child to recognize fallacies or flaws in logic. Make it okay to ask for clarification or more information. Kids are surprisingly good at digging deeper and identifying bias.

·      Capture conversations and big ideas so you can revisit them later. This could mean drawing a picture, writing in a journal, or even recording a short video.

·      Really listen. Even very small children have a lot to say. Demonstrate that you take them seriously, and that you want to know what’s on their minds.

·      Recognize that the timing of these important conversations might not be ideal. Kids bring things up at inopportune moments, not because they’re trying to be a pest, but because they’re constantly mulling things over.

·      Also recognize that big questions with kids aren’t a one-and-done deal. It’s far more likely that you’ll have a series of 5-minute chats than one big symposium. You may find they last the rest of their lives.

·      Focus on how to think, as opposed to what to think. You can feed a child specific viewpoints and bits of information, but at some point, they’ll think their way around them. They care about your perspective, but it may not be theirs, and it may not be enough.

Most kids are grateful for and enthusiastic about being included in important conversations. They can handle difficult information if it’s presented in the right way. The long and the short of it is that kids don’t just want to know, they need to know. This is the world they live in, and these are the thinking skills they’ll need in order to navigate through it. Don’t let your own apprehensions about difficult questions get in the way of their chance to explore them.