Taking Little Thinkers From “Me” To “We”

When we tell our kids that “sharing is caring” and “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”, do we mean it, or are we just passing along platitudes? Do we think about what these quips actually mean before we let them into our conversations with youngsters? More importantly, do we follow up on them with conversation and reflection?

If there’s anyone who is sensitive to our connections as human beings, to our relationships with each other and with the world around us, it’s kids. From a very early age, they demonstrate tremendous empathy and concern, and have notions of justice and fairness. For the first part of our lives, we don’t even think of ourselves as entities separate from our caregivers. We start out with a very strong sense of “we”. It’s at the core of how we see ourselves. It’s how we get fed and how we are protected. And of course, at some point, we add “me” to our “we”. It’s part of our growth and understanding.

But sometimes we lose a little too much of the “we”, and it comes back to bite us and others.

So, why not help our kids hang on to “we” as they explore their “me”? There are all kinds of big, beautiful questions in philosophy that are not only great starts to conversations, but that also help us stay connected to others.

Here are some of our favourites:

·      What do we have in common with all other people? What are the things that make us all human?

·      If someone makes a mess, is it still our job to clean it up?

·      What does it mean to be responsible for someone else? Who do you feel responsible for?

·      If you can help someone else, should you? What would make you decide not to help someone?

·      Do we have things in common with creatures who aren’t human beings?

·      How do our actions affect others? Should we be allowed to do whatever we want, without thinking of others?

·      When one of us learns something or does something well, does it help everyone learn and do well too?

·      Do we only need to care about our close family and friends, or should we also consider other people too?

Right about now, it seems as though empathy, compassion and connection are in short supply. If there’s a way to help our kids keep these things at the front of their minds, why not make it a priority? If it helps us grown-ups to recapture some of our sense of “we”, then all the better!